My eyes, Shut closed

right? Even if it does take.. a few months. After I test run it.

I finally found a reliable torrent for the sims 2 and since I have a mac, it was a pain in the ass. And of course, I needed a stupid patch to get it to work because I can't just get in with my program editor and unlock it. I mean, damn.

Sleep comes with nightmares and I'm putting off sleeping for as long as possible. It fucking Snowed four inches and I ran around outside with about seven layers of clothing on and still froze. thanks, anorexia.

My torrent has five more hours to go. Honestly. It's only six fucking gigs and it takes eight hours. I could write my own Sims program faster than that.

SO
Christmas is coming and I was toying with the idea of taking mainly because it's good motivation for me to write
and because It's fun
although my Girugamesh story didn't fly very well. ¬.¬;
I guess it's because JrockYaoi is too busy oogling dozens of pages of the GazettE to pay attention to smaller bands.
I counted.
It's like... fucking 8 GazettE fics to every 1 other fic. How sad.

Sorry for not updating on Saturday. Edit = Friday. I fucking fail.
I'll update tomorrow.
Due to some family related problems
I couldn't do much this week.
That and
school ends soon.

That's all.

By tonight I mean this morning. It's been the first day of December for a while now, I just hadn't noticed because I was so caught up with other stuff.

I have to go to Biology class today with passion. I think the fetal pig dissection is finally over, so no more hacking into Cheeseburger for me. Yes, I convinced our group to name the pig Cheeseburger. It was the most original name amongst all the "Babes" and "Wilburs" and "Piggys". It was just sad.

Wednesday is my calculus final, FML, and I have two exams in Japanese next week, FML, and I really want to fit into this old pair of pants I have, but I'm so thin that I have to wear a belt and it scrunches the pants up funny and looks fucking ridiculous under my damned clothing. This is stupid. Living is stupid.

It suddenly occurs to me that the main reason I write in my journal is to bitch and moan about shit and I'm sorry for anyone who goes into their friend's list and is occasionally exposed to my ass hattery. I don't have much else to write about though, seeing as I update when I'm terribly bored and it makes me short tempered.

Seriously though, once I get started on something unpleasant, I just can't stop.

Take the boyfriend for instance. I could rant all night about him. No joke.

-----

I'm getting really tired but I don't want to sleep. I've had night terrors every single day for two weeks and its' getting to the point that I really don't want to sleep anymore. It's because of the drug I'm taking, I know it, but it's worse if I don't take it. Damn.

I need to buy more Hashish oil.

[/bitching and moaning]

Happy December First!!!

I had swine flu. And then I had it again. And then I found out that I had insert awful disease here. use your imagination. It wasn't an STD. I promise.

I updated my fanfiction. Twice. I couldn't help it.

I fucking love girugamesh.

Damn it, you're making it really fucking hard to move on with my damned life.

I was perfectly fine the way we were after we broke up, but no. You had to go and inflame the fucking situation just to get a damned rise. 

Congratulations, you succeeded and now I'd give almost anything never to talk to you again.

[/rant]

I'm so hungry. I feel like I could die from this searing hunger- it's eating me alive.

I want to eat something so badly.

I just posted an old story.
I need to write to get my mind off my stomach.

I didn't get much sleep last night because my mother was having one of her crazy fits. After listening to that for a while, I fell into disturbed sleep, had a couple of weird dreams, and woke up with a piercing pain in my back. Brilliant.

RiverView job starts on Thursday. Horray for working at a bar.

And now... anime. I just got Sketchbook Full ColorS and I intend to burn at least four hours with it. WITH PASSION.

I lost two pounds in three days. I don't even know how it happened, I swear I've been totally porking out like you have no idea. I obviously finally got my wish from so long ago, why can't I just lose weight naturally?  Well, now I don't have to worry anymore.  My metabolism is so UTTERLY FUCKED UP that food passes through me like airplanes through a cloud.  I'm going to fucking die.

[/angst]

Went to Franco's today and had crazy kinky sex, no lie. Except it's been a while since we've done the dirty dirty deed because he just got over being morbidly sick, so he shot his load before I was anywhere close. Thanks.  That's what happens when you shove your penis down my throat for a good ten minutes before we have sex.

[/TMI paragraph]

I'm driving to Japanese tonight and I don't particularly want to because I feel like a fucking brick.

I need to go study or something.

I just started a new probably going to kill me diet a few days ago. I've already lost more weight than my body can handle and it makes me feel sick. It's been so long since I ate a cookie and I want one so bad!!!

just one miserable cookie. one chipsahoy cookie has 50 calories and I could burn it off just by walking around the block but i cannot bring myself to give in.

i need to start writing again. I've got an unfinished story and I'm working on the JROCKBIGBANG assignment. Mine will be epic, I swear it. It's already HUGE though.  It touches on a lot of really edgy subjects though. I.E. riku's spectacular eating disorder.

Time to go suck on some ice cubes.